LA in January, though, turns out to be plenty Lynchian in its own right. Surreal/banal juxtapositions and interpenetrations are everyplace you look. The cab from LAX has a DDS machine attached to the meter so you can pay the fare by major credit card. Or there’s my hotel’s lobby, which is filled with beautiful Steinway piano music, except when you go over to put a buck in the piano player’s snifter or whatever it turns out there’s nobody playing, the piano’s playing itself, but it’s not a player piano, it’s a regular Steinway with a weird computerized box attached to the underside of its keyboard; the piano plays 24 hours a day and never once repeats a song. My hotel’s in what’s either West Hollywood or the downscale part of Beverly Hills; two clerks at the registration desk start arguing the point when I ask where exactly in LA we are. The argument goes on for an absurdly long time with me just standing there.
My hotel room has unbelievably fancy and expensive French doors that open out onto a balcony, except the balcony’s exactly ten inches wide and has an iron fence with decorations so sharp-looking you don’t want to get anywhere near it. I don’t think the French doors and balcony are meant to be a joke. There’s an enormous aqua-and-salmon mall across the street, very upscale, with pricey futuristic escalators slanting up across the mall’s exterior, and yet I never in three days see a single person a- or descend the escalator; the mall is all lit up and open and seems totally deserted. The winter sky seems smogless but unreal, its blue the same supersaturant blue as Blue Velvet’s opening’s famous sky.
LA has a big city’s street musicians, but here the musicians play on median strips instead of on the sidewalk or subway, and patrons throw change and fluttering bills at them from their speeding cars, many with the casual accuracy of long practice. On the median strips between the hotel and David Lynch’s sets, most of the street musicians were playing instruments like finger-cymbals and citterns.
Fact: in my three days here for Premiere magazine I will meet two (2) different people named Balloon.
David Foster Wallace, David Lynch keeps his head.
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